Resolve to resolve

Well a new year has dawned and even though it is only January 6th, it feels like the holidays are a distant memory. I find it interesting that all of the retail sales woes and hype prior to our consumer based winter season has died down on the news and that, like a light switch, we change our focus as if Christmas didn't just happen.

I haven't been in the stores yet, but I'm sure that Valentine's Day has already peeked it's ugly head up on display aisles and that Easter isn't far behind. Kind of hard to think of Easter now - especially when its snowing outside.

I have launched a new blog yesterday. It's a real-time journal of my quest to find fitness in 2009. I'm being rather forthcoming with my postings and putting myself in the awkward position of airing my dirty laundry. My plan is to do weekly weigh-ins that show status along with posting what I'm doing (eating, exercising) and my progress (or lack thereof). I hope that there is actual progress - it would make for a boring story otherwise - journeys are only interesting if you actually leave the driveway.

What has me nervous about this is that it is me. This blog you're currently visiting has been an outlet for my ideas and thoughts - all of which are snippets of the whole picture. A person following this blog (both of you - thanks by the way) would see some of how my thought process works along with my opinions and commentary on things that concern me, but it's still processed. It's still a controlled view into my world.

My new blog: http://ryansfitnessjourney.blogspot.com/ is how it is as you see it. Raw. I'm posting photos of me in just my shorts (a word of warning, I have no bodily resemblance to Brad Pitt so venture carefully) and my weight and body as it changes. You can't hide it when it's out there for anyone and everyone to see.

And for that, it's strangely liberating - as if I'm letting go of that insecurity by posting it so publicly, but it's still an opening up to anyone who may or may not have a positive influence via their comments. Plus my friends, family and acquaintances will have a front row seat to my life.

So this new year has brought with it a whole bag full of uncertainty - economic problems, a new president of our country (yea!), people losing their jobs and hopefully I keep mine for at least a little while longer, etc. But with that change comes the hope that it will bring happiness, too. And that for every one thing we feel is out of our control there is one thing that you can actively do.

I'm currently reading a book I got for Christmas - "Velvet Elvis" by Rob Bell. Rob Bell is an absolutely amazing speaker and storyteller. He is a Christian Pastor of the Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, MI and if you haven't watched his speak then you need to treat yourself (check out Nooma). His book is starting to hit home for me - especially in relationship to how I view what Christianity is - I'm about 2/3rds through the book the section I read last night spoke of the importance to let go of the things that drive us and to enjoy who we are. Success is defined by our happiness and enjoyment of our lives - more money, a new job, a new location won't change who we are inside and Rob Bell spoke of looking at the mysteries behind the mystery. That there is always more to the story (our story). We need to get past the superficial in order to find that core.

That's been part of my journey all along in 2008. Rob Bell wrote about the commonly used phrase "where ever you go, there you are". Changing the surface doesn't change who we are and that happiness comes from enjoyment of who we really are and bringing those attributes to the surface and stop living for the approval of others (he says to live for God). I guess that resonates with me.

And maybe that phase of "where ever you go, there you are" applies to my own fitness journey - I had started the launch of my blog before I got to this section in the book last night, but it just seemed to make sense to me. That for all of the postulating and theories - for all of the commentary and beliefs that it is all of naught if there isn't substance behind who I am. And part of the substance is taking care of the only vessel I've got to make it through my life.

I don't really believe in resolutions. A friend of mine said to me that it doesn't make sense to her to "resolve" to do anything - you write down your goals for the year and then focus on the top five - keeping the list in a prominent place (like a bathroom mirror) so that you're reminded of them and then holding one another to those goals. I liked that perspective on them. It takes the negative spin of a resolution into a positive change for growth.

My wish for you in this next year that you find yourself - where ever that may be and bring out the very best in yourself. Stare at that 800 lb gorilla and kick it's ass. Be who you were meant to be and live for happiness and joy.