Mr Mom weekend...

My wife's new found profession is a stay-at-home mom. She does a wonderful job of managing the house and raising our kids. She has put her career on hold as an elementary teacher to take on this role for our household and I believe the four of us are better for it.

Making this choice isn't an easy one. It would be wonderful to have her full time salary- and even with the cost of daycare, we would come out ahead (financially). But for us, it was an investment of another kind and in this short window of pre-grade school years, our kids can have the full attention of (at least) their mother and as much as I can as their father.

Many of our friends who are at this same point in their lives with mid-life career paths and children under the age of 5 who struggle with their balance of financial goals (or even subsistence!) and the guilt of sending their kids to daycare. Some just have to because of divorce or others make a partial time at work with only partial time of kids in full time daycare.

My role as father has been rather straight forward as of late. I work and travel for my work rather often - but not for long periods of absence (maybe 3-5 nights a month away). I do work some long hours when required which means I'm around my kids for only a couple of hours during the work week.

Recently my wife had the chance to attend a girl's weekend in Las Vegas this past weekend to spend some time with the gals in her family. Her mother, aunt and cousins all headed out and enjoyed a fun weekend of just being girls again. The age range was 28-79 but from what I hear from their stories, all acted like teenagers again.

It was also my opportunity to be full-time dad this weekend. All responsibilities were mine - meals, baths, laundry, housecleaning, naps, day-trips, etc. Now, I'm typically involved on the weekends with all of this - but I would have my wife around to help when I needed it. My kids are nearly 3 years and just over a year so it can be rather busy and planning ahead for things as simple as gymnastics takes more thought than just grabbing the car keys and going out the door.

I had a great time with my kids. Not that there weren't stressful moments and middle-of-the-night issues to deal with, but overall it was a great window into the world that my wife deals with day in and day out and time to really connect with the lives of my children. Especially the point of appreciation of relentlessness of it. Stay at home moms don't get much of a mental break from it. At least with my job, I have a chance to think of different things and talk to other adults. After the 16th round of "Micky Mouse Clubhouse", your brain starts to melt and the damn songs are haunting.

Who really knows what the best answer is for child care and each family has to deal with that decision in their own way and what best works for them. Some women have invested an incredible amount in a career/profession and they would like to practice that passion which doesn't lend themselves to the stay-at-home type. Others are just perfectly suited for that role or some combination of the two.

I firmly believe that the success of your family comes from the amount of love and support that is distributed to all of the members. A person who is gone often but is giving of themselves can provide a much stronger environment than a stay-at-home who is emotionally checked out - the argument for "quality" over "quantity" of time spent. I also think that there is something to be said about life expectations when the mother has pursued her own capabilities and passions and can lead by example for her own children. I was a product of two working parents (both school teachers) and my mother worked because she loved it. And seeing that has shown my brother, sister and I that following passions is a huge part of overall family happiness (hence my own drive to have a passion-laden career).

By the end of the weekend though, I was ready for my wife to be home (and so were the kids!). I can see why my wife is looking forward to my return in the evenings from my job so she can at least have the help of distraction while she tackles the responsibilities of the household. So when I come home tired from work - at least I didn't have two kids melting down and whining at me all day (although I could make a good argument that some of the people I work with fit this category). It reminds me that I need to help her out at that time. And as they say - happy wife = happy life.

To all of you mothers out there, I salute you! Especially all of you single parents out there.